The Not-so-New Election Machine

I don’t know about you, but I get really tired of all the bickering, name calling and slandering that’s a part of modern politics. Maybe some people like that, but I think it demeans the candidates and demeans the people who have to listen to it. I mean, haven’t we grown past the age where we’re saying “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” C’mon, we’re supposed to be adults; at least I think we are.

It goes far beyond the candidates too. The news media loves to get their two cents worth in (actually, more like 22,000 cents) and the average person out there does as well. Just look at Facebook any day of the week, it’s full of people spouting off their party’s line.

Once upon a time, such things were decided upon the field of battle. Kingly dynasties started because the first king in the line was a better warrior than any other. He beat his competition fair and square, without any name calling, mudslinging or lies. You might be able to lie on camera, but you sure can’t get away with it when you’ve got a sword in your hand. Then, it’s either put up or shut up.

Could you imagine the 2008 presidential elections if we went back to that. “In this ring, we’ve got Barak Obama, young, fit and full of energy, ready to do battle with his Republican rival; and in this corner, we’ve got John McCain, old, feeble and having a little trouble holding up his sword. Nevertheless, he’s ready to do battle with this young, liberal upstart.”

I’ll have to say, Obama would have had a definite advantage in that battle. With his youth and all, everyone would be betting on him. Maybe McCain would have been better off sending in Sarah Palin to do battle; at least she was a hunter. But then, he kind of did that, and it didn’t work out too well.

Of course, being a liberal, Obama would have had to overcome his own prejudices to do battle. After all, he’s in favor of gun control. I wonder if he’d be in favor of sword control as well. Now, that’s an interesting question, were the liberals in the middle ages trying to push for sword control? Hmm, well, that’s a question for another day.

I’m not sure how that battle would have come out. To win, Obama would have had to go against his principles. But, then again, he’s a politician; don’t they do that all the time?

If nothing else, I can see two main advantages of this system. First of all, it would be over quickly. I really can’t see any of them enduring an eight month sword fight, even if they only fought for five minute per day. Secondly, it would be much more entertaining to watch, than the political battles we have today. Maybe the TV ratings for these political debates would go up.